Everyone is

why was six afraid of seven?

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 22:33:49 GMT

Today is a punchline.

And now for my This Should Be On A Poster In A Grade School Classroom thought of the day:
It's never been this day before.

How cool is that? Today has never happened before. Tomorrow I would have said that again but apparently seven ate nine.

Curious...

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 20:50:52 GMT

Could someone please explain to George Stephanopoulos and me how and why Joe Biden could or would stop Benjamin Netanyahu from pissing anywhere he wants to piss?

"No bomb that ever burst / Shatters the crystal spirit"

Sat, 04 Jul 2009 03:05:26 GMT

I'm looking for some help. I need to read as much as I can on the Spanish Civil War. What are some great books/articles I can start with?

Why I Love Your Mother

Sun, 28 Jun 2009 01:53:17 GMT

"I don't know why people are so cynical about Ewoks, the Rebellion would have failed without the Ewoks."

How do they live under such oppressive conditions@#??!!ELEVEN

Sat, 27 Jun 2009 23:22:13 GMT

They're kind of liberal with the word "attacked" if you ask me.

Why does this make me feel weird?

Sat, 27 Jun 2009 19:13:20 GMT

Possible Reason To Get Married

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 15:50:13 GMT

By law your husband has to have sex with you even if you never shave your legs again, right?

Stoned wallabies make crop circles

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 13:22:44 GMT

SouRceSLY

SYDNEY (Reuters) - The mystery of crop circles in poppy fields in Australia's southern island state of Tasmania has been solved -- stoned wallabies are eating the poppy heads and hopping around in circles.

"We have a problem with wallabies entering poppy fields, getting as high as a kite and going around in circles," the state's top lawmaker Lara Giddings told local media on Thursday.

"Then they crash. We see crop circles in the poppy industry from wallabies that are high," she said.

Many people believe crop circles that mysteriously appear in fields around the world are created by aliens.

Poppy producer Tasmanian Alkaloids said livestock which ate the poppies were known to "act weird" -- including deer and sheep in the state's highlands.

"There have been many stories about sheep that have eaten some of the poppies after harvesting and they all walk around in circles," said field operations manager Rick Rockliff.

Australia produces about 50 percent of the world's raw material for morphine and related opiates.

Also this:

MORNING EL JAY

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 12:51:28 GMT

I took this photograph of myself right after I ~~stepped~~ rolled out of ~~my time machine~~ bed

Follow up to ...

Sun, 21 Jun 2009 08:18:09 GMT

and clarification of this.

I am watching Arrested Development for the first time ever (great show wtf is up with canceling it?) and Job hangs an inappropriate high five. Now all I can think about now is NPH begging for fist bumps. It's like a drug!

A DRUG

Not as a favor...

Sun, 21 Jun 2009 07:32:21 GMT

Hypothetically, if I were to re-watch every episode of How I Met Your Mother right now would someone kill my puppy?

You Could Be a Winner!

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 17:28:05 GMT

The first person to come up with _50_ solid arguments for why my ~~pathetic, unhealthy~~ awesome crush on Neil Patrick Harris is both ~~wrong and stupid~~ awesome and legendary (yes both must be present in each argument) will win an AWESOME prize.

Something Just Occurred to Me

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 05:21:41 GMT

And it's kind of weird and new so be gentle.

I'm a romantic.

SUIT UP

Mon, 15 Jun 2009 21:39:23 GMT

I've been watching a How I Met Your Mother marathon since last night. Really. I finished season one.

Off to season two. Its gonna be legen... wait for it ... (and I hope you're not lactose intolerant because the next part is) dary[sic].

I've given high fives to three people in the past five hours.

So, uhm

Sun, 14 Jun 2009 14:20:06 GMT

I don't suppose Iran has term limits... you know, for The Supreme Leader.
No? Oh, okay.
Oh they have a president too?
Interesting. Does he actually have any power?

Stories About Stories - Post I

Sat, 13 Jun 2009 03:42:17 GMT

When I was a child I would jam instrumental operas on my Casio. Each character had it's own octave. Evil Villain would have his origin notes in a very low minor chord. Helpless Damsel In Distress found her voice in the highest notes using the "harpsichord" setting and of course Alpha Male Hero was middle C.

The plot would always be rather abstract as this was more like a Grateful Dead jam than your average Tchaikovsky. The theme was, however, entirely unoriginal and always satirical. You could almost hear Evil Villain stroke his thin mustache and the screams of Helpless Damsel as she lie tied to train tracks awaiting her inevitable death when Hero would swoop in with only very manly major chords to save our heroine.

And yes, at age 7, I was fully aware that I was making fun of an ageless, trite theme. The end usually saw Helpless Damsel running off to “find herself” (ala Molly Ringwald circa the times) or some such silliness while Evil Villain and Hero finally expressed their love for one another.

_cronym

Thu, 11 Jun 2009 05:35:32 GMT

I am one of a hand-full of people who own their own time travel machine. The list is short and includes J J Abrams.*

News From The Future:

In about twenty years there will be a symbol invented to stand in for the "a" in an acronym containing the word acronym. By 2110 the the word acronym is spelled with the symbol in front replacing the letter.

* I cannot get too detailed at the moment, but I can tell you that my existence is actually a direct result of J J Abrams' abuse of time travel. More later.

As applied to fiction writing

Thu, 11 Jun 2009 04:00:50 GMT

The end may justify the means as long as there is something that justifies the end.

Discuss.

I've Never Read Anything By Him.

Wed, 10 Jun 2009 00:56:39 GMT

Your result for Which fantasy writer are you?...

Philip Pullman (b.1946)

9 High-Brow, -5 Violent, 33 Experimental and 15 Cynical!

Congratulations! You are High-Brow, Peaceful [I am not peaceful thankyouverymuch.], Experimental and Cynical! These concepts are defined below.

Philip Pullman was already a prominent author of children's books when he published his most praised work to date, the trilogy known as His Dark Materials (1995-2000). In this work, set both in parallel worlds and our own, Pullman made a courageous attempt to write a book for young readers which incorporated a whole vision of the universe, as well as a discussion of ethical issues. He managed to combine this with a burst of thought-provoking and entertaining imagination, bringing to life a Europe where the church is still in control, "souls" that have been externalised as animal presences, intelligent, sentient polar bears and much more. The series have been described as a sort of "anti-Narnia", as Pullman's attempt to write an updated variant of the kind of books C S Lewis, whom Pullman has criticized for having racist, misogynic and preaching tendencies, wanted to write. His Dark Materials has also spawned some controversy among Christians, who see the the work as an attack against Christianity, Pullman being one of Britain's most outspoken atheists. Other Christians have, however, claimed to have found spirituality in the books.

Either way, Pullman's combination of renewal and expansion of the genre, his profound messages on the value of life and his refusal to under-estimate his young readers' ability to see life as it is makes Pullman one of the most interesting and important writers of modern fantasy.

You are also a lot like Tove Jansson.

If you want something some action, try Gene Wolfe.

If you'd like a challenge, try your exact opposite, J R R Tolkien.

Your score

This is how to interpret your score: Your attitudes have been measured on four different scales, called 1) High-Brow vs. Low-Brow, 2) Violent vs. Peaceful, 3) Experimental vs. Traditional and 4) Cynical vs. Romantic. Imagine that when you were born, you were in a state of innocence, a tabula rasa who would have scored zero on each scale. Since then, a number of circumstances (including genetical, cultural and environmental factors) have pushed you towards either end of these scales. If you're at 45 or -45 you would be almost entirely cynical, low-brow or whatever. The closer to zero you are, the less extreme your attitude. However, you should always be more of either (eg more romantic than cynical). Please note that even though High-Brow, Violent, Experimental and Cynical have positive numbers (1 through 45) and their opposites negative numbers (-1 through -45), this doesn't mean that either quality is better. All attitudes have their positive and negative sides, as explained below.

High-Brow vs Low-Brow

You received 9 points, making you more High-Brow than Low-Brow. Being high-browed in this context refers to being more fascinated with the sort of art that critics and scholars tend to favour, rather than the best-selling kind. At their best, high-brows are cultured, able to appreciate the finer nuances of literature and not content with simplifications. At their worst they are, well, snobs.

Violent vs. Peaceful

You received -5 points, making you more Peaceful than Violent. This scale is a measurement of a) if you are tolerant to violence in fiction and b) whether you see violence as a means that can be used to achieve a good end. If you aren't, and you don't, then you are peaceful as defined here. At their best, peaceful people are the ones who encourage dialogue and understanding as a means of solving conflicts. At their worst, they are standing passively by as they or third parties are hurt by less scrupulous individuals.

Experimental vs. Traditional

You received 33 points, making you more Experimental than Traditional. Your position on this scale indicates if you're more likely to seek out the new and unexpected or if you are more comfortable with the familiar, especially in regards to culture. Note that traditional as defined here does not equal conservative, in the political sense. At their best, experimental people are the ones who show humanity the way forward. At their worst, they provoke for the sake of provocation only.

Cynical vs Romantic

You received 15 points, making you more Cynical than Romantic. Your position on this scale indicates if you are more likely to be wary, suspicious and skeptical to people around you and the world at large, or if you are more likely to believe in grand schemes, happy endings and the basic goodness of humankind. It is by far the most vaguely defined scale, which is why you'll find the sentence "you are also a lot like x" above. If you feel that your position on this scale is wrong, then you are probably more like author x. At their best, cynical people are able to see through lies and spot crucial flaws in plans and schemes. At their worst, they are overly negative, bringing everybody else down.

Take Which fantasy writer are you? at HelloQuizzy

Summary:
I hate Catholics and J R R Tolkien is my arch nemesis.

Operation Rescue CAN GO FUCK ITSELF

Tue, 09 Jun 2009 19:01:06 GMT

press release

Tiller Clinic Will Permanently Close While KSBHA Abortion Investigation Stays Open

June 9, 2009

Wichita, KS - A statement has been released by attorneys for the Tiller family stating that Women's Health Care Services will permanently close.

"We are thankful that Tiller's clinic will not reopen and thankful that Wichita is now abortion-free. It is our sincere prayer that threats to open another third-trimester abortion clinic in Kansas will not come to fruition so that the healing process for this state and community can begin," said Operation Rescue President Troy Newman.

"This is a bittersweet moment for us at Operation Rescue. We have worked very hard for this day, but we wish it would have come through the peaceful, legal channels that we were pursuing. We believe we were very close to seeing disciplinary action taken against Tiller's license that would have closed this clinic through due process," said Newman.

An Operation Rescue staff person received two letters last week from the Kansas State Board of Healing Arts dated June 1, 2009, informing her that her complaints against the late George R. Tiller and his employee, abortionist Shelley Sella were still open and the investigations still pending. The letters were automatically generated prior to Tiller's death.

Operation Rescue later confirmed with the Board that the Sella investigation will continue, while the Tiller portion of the investigation will now be closed. In addition, the eleven-count petition recently made public by the KSBHA against Tiller for allegedly violating the requirement that there be a second unaffiliated physician referral for post-viability abortions will also be closed.

"At the time of his death, the KSBHA had already taken the first steps to revoke Tiller's medical license. Notice that these additional cases were proceeding is another indication that we were very close to seeing some kind of disciplinary action," said Operation Rescue President Troy Newman. "The legal channels we were employing were working and are continuing to work in the case of Shelley Sella."

The complaints referred to in the KSBHA letters centered on an abortion patient who suffered substantial complications from a late-term abortion she received at Tiller's Women's Health Care Services in September, 2008. Both Tiller and Sella participated in her abortion. The victim's name is being withheld to protect her privacy. [Read more.]

"Since the woman involved suffered life-threatening injuries, issues involving Sella's participation in this botched abortion must still be addressed by the Board," said Newman.

Sella, who resides in California and worked for Tiller one week out of three, could still face the revocation of her Kansas medical license. View Sella Letter
"Operation Rescue will continue to press forward with it national campaign to show the truth about abortion with our fleet of Truth Trucks. We will continue to work to stop tax-funded abortions, and expose abortion industry wrongdoing around the nation," said Newman. "There is more than enough work for us to do. The truth about abortion must continue to be told until the entire country is abortion-free."

FUCK. YOU.

Adding this since it was linked in the release:
http://www.operationrescue.org/archives/it%E2%80%99s-not-over-tiller-charged-with-11-counts-by-ksbha/

“As a famous baseball player once said, ‘It ain’t over ‘til it’s over.’ We are encouraged by this news from the KSBHA,” said Operation Rescue President Troy Newman. “We have never put all our hope in the criminal prosecution and continue to work through a number of avenues to ensure that one day Tiller will be brought to justice.”

Something just freaked me out

Tue, 09 Jun 2009 04:10:14 GMT

You know how you get old and you forget stuff?

I was reading up on the history of anti-abortion murders. I knew the clinic I went to was attacked but I forgot that it was only days after I had an abortion there. This piece of shit murdered two receptionists about a week after I had the procedure done.

For some reason I remember there having been a bombing. He shot them. No bombing that I can find.

Memories are weird.

Happy Tetris Day!

Sat, 06 Jun 2009 21:17:47 GMT

I am a total pro at packing things into the refrigerator because of this wonderful game.

And now this:

Is this a first?

Thu, 04 Jun 2009 19:17:57 GMT

Orie aide accused of soliciting teen for 'furry' sex

An aide to a McCandless state senator known for her tough stance on sex crimes was arrested late Thursday on accusations he propositioned a 15-year-old over the Internet.

...

In one message, according to the complaint, Mr. Berlin requested pictures of the boy and wrote, "When will your folks be out?"

Other messages describe various sex acts in explicit detail and refer to "yiffing," which is a "furry" term for having sex.

Mr. Berlin used the screen name "alan_panda_bear" in his messages. He also used that name for an online personal ad that depicts cartoonish panda bears, one wearing a diaper.

"I'm a Daddyfur and Caretaker and I am looking for a babyfur to be my mate and my companion in a long-term committed relationship," the ad says. "I am a hopeless romantic and very affectionate, freely giving hugs, scritches, cuddles and kisses."

According to the ad, he wanted someone 20 to 25, who has a car and would call him Daddy.

20-25 give or take five... ten years.

I'm a Daddyfur and Caretaker and I am looking for a babyfur to be my mate and my companion in a long-term committed relationship sounds kind of like furry NAMBLA.

THERE'S MORE THAN ONE?!!?!??!!ELEVEN!!@

Tue, 02 Jun 2009 17:55:47 GMT

Where's the "Do you like being looked at like a delicious steak by your creepy boyfriend?" option?

ETA don't take the quiz for lulz you have to sign up for some shit to get the results. But the questions are Funny-Because-They-Are-So-Awful.

Sun, 31 May 2009 21:04:47 GMT

FUCK

Possible real post about this later when I am not bleeding rage out of my eyeballs.