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The Absurd Hero and friends

[ website | jenlight.com ]
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Sssssongs for Sssssabotabby [13 Apr 2012|09:38am]
1. If you'd like to play along, reply to this post and I'll assign you a letter.
2. You then list at least five songs that start with that letter.
3. Then, as I'm doing here, you'll post the list to your journal with the instructions.

Today's episode is brought to you by the letter S and by sabotabby who assigned me the aforementioned letter.

Subbacultcha - The Pixies
Salvation Barmy - MC Paul Barman
(She Was a) Hotel Detective - They Might Be Giants
Speeding Motorcycle - Daniel Johnston
Surfin Cow - Dead Milkmen
Street Spirit - Radiohead
Snake - PJ Harvey
Seeking Transport - Elevator Drops (this one's MySpace)
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So's anywhose [06 Mar 2012|06:21am]
Are there Google+, Twitter, Livejournal softwarez out there? You know, that integrate n'shit? Something like LJPlusTweetDeck?
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Story Telling [19 Dec 2011|09:10am]
[ mood | crazy ]

Re-reading The Sandman which I read the one time almost 20 years ago. One thing I’m finding particularly fun are Lucian’s books in the library in The Dreaming. The Merrie Comedie of the Redemption of Doctor Faustus made me smile just now. It’s such an odd experience re-reading something so many years after the first time. I’m finding Sandman more “cute” than I did originally.

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Check out the site I will be neglecting next:  http://jenlight.tumblr.com
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Normal McDonald [14 Nov 2011|07:32am]
I think I have a new phobia. I don't mean new to me, I mean new to the world. Can I name it if I discovered it?

Anyway, it's the fear of sounding insincere on the internet especially when you're being nice.

Plus whenever I want to be serious I have to make a joke along with the serious because I'm afraid of being serious which is probably already an established phobia.


A big part of being alone every second of the day is the inner dialogue. In cases of severe isolation (such as my own) the inner dialogue will either destroy you or, if you learn to use it to your advantage, will help you "pass" as a Normal.


Been thinking about killing off my internet persona and starting over anew. But having issues. Oddly, I appear to be as attached to it as I am to my physical self. Which is to say, not-so-much. But death scares me. The difference with killing your cyberself is you have to continue living. Eternal life? HOW ABOUT NO?
And knowing me I'd just repeat all my patterns and become me again.
I could make a fake persona so unlike me I'd be forced to become a totally different person. But, I'd miss my friends.

My name would be Normal McDonald.


This morning, much like mornings prior to this morning I was awakened by the overwhelming need to vomit from the (night? morning?) terror. I have moments of euphoria, but most of my time is spent in deep despair and/or unimaginable fear. Literally. After the attacks are over I can't really remember them. They've gotten so bad that I lose consciousness, I sort of "black out".

Did I already talk about how the anxiety I go through robs me of high brain functions and takes away things like language? I become an animal. Sometimes I do remember. That's worse.
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Unce unce unce unce [01 Aug 2011|03:30pm]
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Hey St_Rev! [02 Apr 2011|03:52am]
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Hey, what's up? [27 Feb 2011|04:00am]
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FLOWERS: A KNIFEPOINT POEM (Inspired by Loki) [02 Jan 2011|06:32pm]
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Concept Blogging [10 Dec 2010|03:47pm]


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Crazymeds can kiss my ass [02 Dec 2010|10:59pm]
From the Benzodiazepines page:

"I think the issue of the addictive nature of benzos is way overblown. Yes, they are addictive, big deal. So are SSRIs and other anticonvulsants. You don't want to stop medications from either of those classes cold turkey."

Good for you. You've never been taken off one. But please, continue with your assessment that could actually hurt someone like me. Asshat.
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[02 Dec 2010|09:53pm]
I declare today over early. So I guess it's Friday.
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BATMAN SOCKS [16 Nov 2010|03:47pm]
Cover me I'm going out!
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[RETROACTIVE] MORNING EL JAY [15 Nov 2010|11:13am]
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Since I have nothing interesting to say... [12 Nov 2010|08:45pm]
Where do people find cool stuff? I never find cool stuff.
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This made me happy [08 Nov 2010|06:48pm]
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[02 Nov 2010|10:12pm]
Motherfuckin' Sulu
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Saddest Post EVAR [30 Oct 2010|03:05pm]
I have never carved a pumpkin in my life.

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Have you heard? She reads. It's hilarious! [29 Oct 2010|11:51pm]
My American Lit class made fun of me for a good half hour because I have a favorite part of the Declaration of Independence. They were in tears they laughed so hard. Oh community college. How I never missed you.
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Withdrawal while still on the drugs? Oh yeah! [28 Oct 2010|10:33pm]
I came really close to throwing a half full cup of coffee at two rednecks talking about picking their wedgies. The rage is one of the two symptoms of SSRI withdrawal I know when I feel it. The other started a few days ago, "the zaps". But tonight when I came that close to losing my temper and my self control it hit me. So many other things lately that had been going wrong all came together. I'm having withdrawal symptoms from the Effexor even though I'm still taking it, have not dropped the dose at all nor missed a dose.


So I called my drug pusher and he's putting me on some other drug along with the cocktail I'm on now and doesn't believe me anyway.

I need to find out if this has happened to other people.
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More about drugs [28 Oct 2010|02:40pm]
Another interesting development on the Effexor front is I've begun getting "the zaps". I haven't stopped taking my pills. I still take them regularly. Regardless, I get electric shocks as if I am withdrawing.

Curiouser and curiouser.

Also, I think SSRIs cause acne. The Paxil most definitely did. When I got down to 5mg of Paxil it went away. Then when I got up to a high-ish dose of Effexor it came back.
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